High Hopes

Jack has always enjoyed being naked.  He is often found completely in the nude running through the house or outdoors at some point in our day.  It's just who he is and it's a way of life around here.  Yesterday he ran into my room, completely naked, and hopped up on my bed where I was dressing Will.  He crawled up beside me, sat on his knees and ever so neatly tucked his ding dong between his legs, hiding it from view.  I was a little disturbed as to why he would do this(not to mention how well he did it, which was proof of a lot of practice) and I asked him what one earth he was doing.  He responded quickly, "Mama, my just hiding my ding dong so baby Will doesn't see it."  Okay, I accepted his answer and continued dressing Will.

After dressing Will, I grabbed him and hopped off the bed with Jack following behind me. I turned to see him again tucking his ding dong between his legs.  Growing more than a little concerned now with his new talent I asked him why he was doing that again.  He looked up to me, shot me a serious look and said, "Because, Maaaa-muuuhh. My have to do this so I don't step on it when I walk."

Way to dream big, buddy.

Right of Passage

It was only a year ago that my oldest had finally mastered a very important farming responsibility...the opening and closing of the gate. He was so proud then. He could manage the gate for his Daddy to drive through and was able to latch the chain back on the nail without coming too close to the electric wire.

One year later and my oldest is now driving the gator through the gate while his Daddy manages the opening and closing and latching of the chain. Imagine my surprise (and horror) when I was summoned outside last night to watch my four year old drive through the gate and take a joy ride around the pasture. Did I mention that my middle child, my other baby, was perched on the back, along for the ride?

Jody coached Sam the entire time, telling him where to turn, when to slow down and when to stop. He drove very slowly and carefully and handled the pedals like a pro. He drove over to check Walter, one of our bulls, examined him and yelled back to his Daddy, "I checked him Daddy. He's okay."

Around he went, him decked out in his cowboy gear, his brother in pajamas and his coon skin cap. I held my breath (and took pictures) and questioned Jody about the intelligence (or lack there of) we were showing by allowing Sam to putt around on the gator, his little brother on the back, while we stood back and watched. His response was, "Ang, I was driving a truck and hay trailer through the field when I was his age. It's time he learned." I have yet to verify the validity of his response. But I'm sure he was driving something around the farm by the time he was four, although probably not a truck and trailer.

Somebody got a little jealous of his older brother and spent most of the ride with his head buried in his hands, pouting like a champ. He certainly thought he should have a turn too, even though his feet don't reach the pedals, and he was more than a little ticked off that he had to stay in the back, watching his older brother have all the fun.

So I held my breath and watched my oldest grow up before my eyes. I understand that this is just another right of passage in this life we love. Farm life. We are so blessed to raise these boys here, on this land, where they can run and explore and relish the wonder of being a boy. Even if it makes their Mama's hair prematurely grey and gives her worry lines on her forehead...

Couch Potatoes

The Middle

He is the spirit of our family.  He is laughter and joy and mischief and cuddles.  He is the perfect middle child.  It's the role he was born to play.  The middle brother.  The one who makes us smile and giggle and scratch our heads in wonder.  The one who fills us with such delight and happiness.  The boy who marches to the beat of his own drummer.  He is charming and charismatic and ridiculously adorable.  And he is such a wonderful little brother that I sometimes forget that he is also a big brother.  I am reminded when I catch him snuggling next to Will on the floor or rushing to find him a toy when he cries.  And when he gently kisses his forehead and pats the top of his head.  And I sit back and watch the little brother play the role of big brother.  And I smile.  My heart smiles. Because he is the perfect little brother and big brother all wrapped up in a precious, joyful little package.  Just perfect.

Almost

My baby is almost crawling. He is trying so hard. He scoots backwards and can turn in a full circle. He raises up on all fours, squeals in delight and drops back down on his belly. I, on the other hand, am forced to swallow the big lump in my throat.
It won't be long now. Maybe a couple more weeks. And he'll be scooting all over the place. But we've had a long talk, Will and I, and he promises me that he will do most of his crawling to one place...my lap. And we'll both be happy.

Sucking It Up

His bottom lip, that is. My poor, sweet, little one is teething. And drooling. And teething. And drooling some more. He constantly has his bottom lip sucked in and gnaws on it, hoping to relieve the pain. I thought the tooth would have been here weeks ago, but his first pearly white refuses to make it's grand entrance. So until then he'll keep chewing on his bottom lip and I'll keep numbing his gums with medicine and covering his chubby cheeks with kisses.

Four Month Well Check

4 Month Well Check Statistics

Weight-17 pounds 14 ounces

Length-26 inches

Cuteness and sweetness...off the charts.

"Butter" Sandwiches

My middle child, these days...you love "butter" sandwiches and insist on making your own, you meticulously put the peanut butter on, drop by drop, making little swirly designs as you go, I think you've been watching your Mema ice cakes...you wear your cowboy boots everywhere, usually on the wrong feet...you are quite an actor an can do a fierce mad face and a pitiful sad face...you still wake up way too early...you are still obsessed with tractors and your Daddy's cows...you love chocolate milk...you can make my name have ten syllables, "MAAAA-MUHHHHH!"...you say Landry is your girlfriend...you are as stubborn as your Daddy (Lord, help me.)...you jumped in the pool this weekend without your water wings and had to be rescued by Ally, which scared us all to death and earned Ally the nickname "Baywatch" by crazy Eddie, Daddy's helper...my walls and base boards are scuffed up because you have no control over your rifle when you swing it around...you have started calling Will "Bill"...Nana gave you a tomahawk for using the potty, it lasted two minutes before you had it de-feathered and broken...you are doing pretty well potty training and have only had one "big" accident, you seem to struggle more with stopping to pee than anything...you thought it would be a good idea to climb behind me on the ladder of the bunk bed when I was changing the sheets today, we both fell and I nearly landed on you, you gave me a big smile and said, "Sorry, Mama. Sorry."... your Daddy has nicknamed you "Poo Diddy Scickles" (because he's always called you Poo and you insist on having your back "scickled") you hate it and say, "My not Poo Diddy Scickles!"...today in Walmart (which I hate), I turned to find you trying on women's orange flip flops, I later turned to find you following behind me with no shirt on (Thankfully, I recovered your shoes and shirt)...you later found a plastic sword and marched up and down the aisles the remainder of our trip singing, "Jackie Boone to the rescue!"...you make me really, really tired some days but you always shower me with hugs and kisses and those special moments certainly overshadow the frustrating times...and just so you know, I love you more today than I did yesterday, my sweet, happy boy.

Underwear

Jack surprised me a couple of days ago by running to the bathroom, hopping on the toilet and handling his business. He has done "it" for three days now which I guess means we are working on potty training now. I intended to wait until he was three, but it looks like he's ready now! He is so proud of himself and we are so proud of him. If only he'd quit peeing in all our shoes on the porch, but that's another issue. I bought him some super hero underwear which he thinks is awesome. He raids his drawers, and Sam's too, looking for the perfect pair. And sometimes he gets a little too happy in the underwear drawer and has a hard time narrowing down his choices...

Muscle Men

Two handsome boys on the beach. Both happily showing off their "muscles" to everyone. All the preschool girls will surely go crazy over them. Too bad that they currently find girls "disgusting."

Poor Baby

It seems that no one is able to escape the obsession that Sam and Jack currently have with Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone. Their Daddy has to constantly explain why Daniel Boone could beat up The Incredible Hulk and Spider Man. And he has to show Sam the proper way to pack down his muzzle loader. Over and over again. I have had to watch more episodes of Daniel Boone than should be required of any mother. And I have laced moccasins and cleaned buckskins so much I could do it in my sleep. Poor Will can't even escape the frontier madness in our house. I constantly catch his older brothers dressing him up and then breaking into a loud rendition of "Willie, Willie Crockett, king of the wild frontier." All I can say sweet Will is that I feel your pain, buddy.

All decked out with his coonskin cap, belt and rifle laid nicely across his lap...

Coonskin caps sure make it tough to see...

And, of course, we must have Little Mingo, Daniel Boone's Indian friend....

Mishap

When imitating your favorite frontiersman, one should be especially careful not to hold their rifle too close to their face. The hammer might catch one's sweet little ear and give it a terrible pinch. This may even lead to bleeding and screaming from the frontiersman. But even the toughest guy feels better with a little kiss from Mama. Even Daniel Boone.

Deja Vu

Remember last year? Someone refused to follow directions and face forward like everyone else. Because facing forward was just too easy or too boring or expected. It was simply, Jack being Jack.

Well, one year later and not much has changed. He still marches to the beat of his own drum. And he refuses to do what everyone else is doing. Yes, that's him. Jack. My unconventional, independent, stubborn little love.

Beach Trip

We had a wonderful week at the beach. The weather was nice, the kids didn't fight and believe it or not, I actually read an entire book. And half of another one, thank you very much. That, in itself, is a small miracle. Sam and Jack loved the water and scared me a few times with their bravery. Will was a sweetie who loved napping on the beach. He didn't, however, find the wet, gritty sand very amusing. The big boys sported their frontier costumes throughout the day. When we told them they were allowed to take three toys to the beach Sam quickly responded, "Okay. I need my costume, my socks and my shoes." So that's what they took. Their costumes, guns and clothes. And they were as happy as could be. The week went by too fast, especially when it seems I spent nearly as many days unpacking as I did actually on vacation.

Thank you, Mama and Daddy, for a wonderful week full of fun and happy times. We can't wait until next year!

Honesty

Dear Will,

One year ago today I found out I was pregnant with you. And I have a confession to make to you, I cried. And it wasn't tears of joy. They were tears of someone who was suddenly panicked, scared and overwhelmed by the idea of another baby. Don't be mistaken, I certainly wanted another baby. But this time I wanted to decide when I would get pregnant. My first two pregnancies were unplanned and I was determined that my third would happen when I wanted it to. Your Daddy and I had already discussed the possibility of getting pregnant in January and welcoming a new baby in the fall. I had it all planned out. It would allow me another summer with Sam and Jack without a newborn in tow, Jack would be potty trained and Sam would be starting preschool. Yes, I had it all planned.

But, you see, God had other plans for us. He knew. He knew that this was the perfect time to bring you, my third son, into our lives. But I still struggled with the idea. It took months for me to become remotely excited about a new baby. I focused on the negatives. I was certain there was no way I could handle three children. Three very young children. I laid awake at night worrying about how I would fit a new baby into our already busy household. I already had days when I felt that I was struggling to keep my head above water and now I would be adding newborn into the chaos. I worried. Endlessly I worried and struggled with your impending arrival.

I found that I wasn't even excited about decorating your nursery or preparing the house for you. I didn't want to pull out the newborn clothes and organize them according to size. I didn't want to think about your name. I didn't want to order bunk beds for your older brothers. I had little desire to deal with anything that would force me to deal with the fact that, like it or not, you were coming.

I became depressed and struggled to enjoy my pregnancy and my time with your older brothers. I finally told my doctor that I was quite certain that there was something wrong with me and that I was absolutely sure I couldn't handle another baby. He encouraged me to hang in there and reminded me often that my feelings were normal and to be expected. Still, I worried.

And I'm sorry to say that my worries never went away. And since I'm being honest with you now, sweet boy, I must tell you that on the day of your birth I entered the hospital an emotional mess. Even though I knew you would be placed in my arms in a matter of hours, I still knew I wasn't ready. I cried to your Daddy, telling him that I didn't want to do this, that I couldn't do this. I asked my Daddy to pray with me and twice he lifted me up to God, praying that I may find peace as your birth was nearing. I thought I was losing it. How could I be crying at such a wonderful time? I knew how wonderful a new baby would be. Another boy to love, just like I love and adore your older brothers. I knew how I should be feeling, but I couldn't shake the fear that was swallowing me whole.

Hours passed and there your were. My beautiful boy. With a head full of dark hair and beautiful dark skin. They placed you in my arms and I fell hopelessly in love with you. Yet, I was still worried. I worried that the fear would sneak up on me again and rob me of my joy, the joy of having you in my life. So I loved you and bonded with you and prayed that I could make you proud. I prayed I would relish every second of your presence and that I never allowed my worries to become apparent to you.

Days passed and I was filled with the greatest happiness. How was this possible? I wasn't experiencing any of the normal baby blues that hit me after the birth of your older brothers. My hormones never got the best of me, leaving me a crying, emotional mess. All I felt was happiness. A happiness and fulfillment that I had never known. You fit perfectly into our family. Your brothers adored you and I was foolish over you. I enjoyed every second with you. You were an easy, sweet newborn and I often wondered how things could be going so well.

Every day I waited for things to go horribly wrong. I was certain that at any moment the reality of having three small children would come crashing down around me. But by God's grace, it never did. Don't misunderstand me, having three children is hard. Very hard. There are days that I find myself still in my pajamas well after lunch and when I don't think I will ever be able to catch up on laundry and housework. And I know that soon you will begin crawling and then walking and that those days when you are into everything will be tough. But most days are wonderful and with you here, they are even more special than I could have ever imagined. And I now know that most days ahead of me will be pretty wonderful too.

So, Will, I hope you will one day understand what having you has meant to me. Not only did you raise my capacity to love to a new level, but you taught me about letting go. You taught me that God knows me and His plans for me are best. So while you didn't come along when I expected, I am so thankful you are here. You are precious and loving and you overwhelm me with feelings of gratitude and love. I am so glad you are here to share this life with us and I am so thankful to be your Mom. You are all I ever needed and didn't know I did and I love you more than you'll ever know.

Love,

Mama

Independence Day

Happy Independence Day from...

Davy Crockett,

Daniel Boone,

and my littlest firecracker.

Four Months

Will, my four month old sweetie. What makes you so wonderful these days...

You are a butterball of squishy, soft, sweetness. You are nearing 18 pounds and are completely wearing 6-12 month clothes now. I love every inch of you, especially those chubby legs and arms. Those deep crevices on your legs and the roll on the back of your neck make my heart smile.

You are so ticklish. Every part of you is ticklish, from your neck to your feet. I love to tickle you and "get your sugar" while you squeal in delight. My favorite place to nuzzle you is under your precious arms and I do it so much that you begin laughing as soon as I begin to pull your arms up.

Your laugh. You have the purest, happiest, most infectious laugh. Your laugh makes me laugh, just like your smile makes me smile. I have a feeling you will always have this effect on me.

You are so close to reaching some pretty great milestones. You are gaining more strength and try so hard to sit up. If I lay you on your back, you immediately work your hardest to roll to your belly and you then raise up on your arms and look around, taking in everything you see. You are already pushing off on your legs in an attempt to become mobile and crawl around. Maybe if I spent a little less time cuddling you and let you have more time on your belly, you could do more. Sorry about that buddy, but cuddling with you is one of my favorite things.

When you wake up in the morning, I roll you onto your back and you smile the biggest, happiest smile. You are thrilled to start another day and your excitement is a reminder that it's the simplest things that we should be happy about, like waking up to a new day surrounded by people we love. I pray that life never robs you of that joy.

You are teething and I hate seeing you hurting. You constantly have drool dripping from your mouth which I remind your Daddy is actually "liquid sugar." You suck your bottom lip in a lot in an attempt to ease the pain and roll your tongue around on your bottom gums. Teething has caused you to fuss more than anything thus far, but it is still minimal. You are just a good, joyful baby.

You try so hard to communicate with me and your cooing drags on and on like sentences. You seem to have so much to tell me and I already hang on your every "word."

Your hair is starting to grow back and is the softest, dark peach fuzz. I can't wait to see if you'll have hair like your older brothers. When it's humid outside, your hair appears to curl on the sides and back. Maybe you'll have little curls like your Daddy does when his hair is long.

You are pretty attached to me and will sometimes only be content if I'm the one holding you. You are crazy about me and your face lights up when you hear my voice or see my face. I'm crazy for you, too, sweet boy.

Your eyes are still blue, but I am beginning to see flecks of brown in them. I wonder what color they will be and if you'll be my third brown eyed boy.

You can poke your bottom lip out at any given moment and I'm a sucker for it already. You may avoid a lot of punishment in the future if you keep working that bottom lip. It's precious and heartbreaking all at the same time.

I try to capture your beautiful smile all the time but as soon as I put the camera in front of my face, you freeze. Every single time. I pull the camera away, you smile. I put the camera back up to my face, you freeze. Just like clockwork.

I can hardly believe you've been here for one third of a year. Time is moving too fast and you are growing at a pace that scares me. You are sweet and amazing and I can't imagine not seeing your bright, beaming smile every morning. Thank you for being so wonderful and for bringing me such happiness and fulfillment. I love you Will, more than you could ever know.

Vacation...or Something Like That

We are wrapping up our week at the beach.  It has been wonderful and I'm sad to see it end.  I must admit, though, that I am excited about diving into my bed and sleeping. Needless to say, things have been a little crazy in our house this week.  Six kids, age six and under...enough said.  The kids have been good and very sweet to one another.  But it has been a tiring week.  Every minute we are checking to see who is where, doing a head count and making sure no one is trying to scale the balcony.  Today, in a four hour span, the following occurred...


We brought all the kids in off the beach and I began scrubbing them in the outdoor shower. Jack disappeared and I sent Allyson to find him.  She returned and told me she'd take over the shower and I could go clean up after Jack.  My child decided to take a dump on the steps leading into the house.  Thank God for hosepipes.


The kids decided our bathroom would be an excellent place to have a camp out.  They drug cots, blanket, pillows and stuffed animals in. I peeked in on them and caught Cannon in peeing in the shower.  You would think if you're going to use the shower for a urinal that you'd at least pee in the drain.  


A few minutes later we discovered that nearly every blanket and stuffed animal was wet.  Why?  Because Jack found the plunger and used it to sling toilet water every where.


Landry snuck into Nana's bathroom and dumped leave in conditioner in her hair.  Needless to say, she didn't have any knots in her hair tonight.


At dinner Sam announced that he needed to go to the bathroom.  He ran in and Landry and Cannon soon followed.  I walked in and found all three naked.  I then found crap smeared all over a hand towel and pieces on the floor.  At the same time Landry tried to use the edge of the shower for a balance beam and fell in.  We're still not sure who used the towel as a wipe.


The boys were cleaning their feet in the outdoor shower after dinner and Cannon decided to pee on Cade, which led to a lot of yelling and a small brawl.


Now I understand why people say they need a vacation from their vacation.