Eye Contact

Wild Animal Party

Sam had all the ingredients for the perfect birthday party...a custom made water buffalo shirt from Ally, a Yellowstone Forest cake, a safari jumper and plenty of family friends to share the day with. After setting up the food tables three times and finally settling on the garage to avoid the wind, we had a wonderful time. Jody cooked a pig, or a "wild hog" according to Sam, and the kids had a great time on the jumper, trampoline and riding toys. Sam got some much needed animals that he didn't have...a mandrill, Scotland Highlander cows, African wild dogs, a mouse and more buffaloes so he can have a full fledged stampede. Now if I can just adjust to the idea of having a four year old...my heart still aches.

Four

Sam,

Today you turn four. My baby turns four. I really can't believe it and I have joked with you for months that I will cry, cry, cry when you turn another year older and you love to talk about how sad I'll be on your birthday. You find it quite amusing that I don't want you to grow older and you always reassure me that you will always be my baby, no matter how old you are.

You, at four years old...you are an amazing, sweet, kind, persistent, loving, passionate, caring, inquisitive little boy. You love animals and spend hours creating animals scenes like Africa, Alaska and Yellowstone Forest. You have a pretty impressive knowledge about dozens of different animals and you love watching animal documentaries and learning more. One thing you love to do as you watch animal shows is to recreate the scene with your own animals. It takes you and Daddy quite a while to make it through a show because you insist on pausing it over and over again until you get your animals just like the ones on television. You ask hundreds of questions every day and you are rarely ever silent. You ask your Daddy every night what you should dream about which leads to him having to create an elaborate animal dream for you. You say your prayers every night and always thank God for giving you "everything you need." You have the sweetest spirit and a real love for learning about God.

Your best friends are still Cade and Cannon and you and Jack continue to grow closer each day. You love each of those boys and I am so grateful that you can grow up with them. You love being at home and would be content to stay here all the time. You continue to enjoy growing up on the farm but insist you would be so much happier if we had buffaloes in our pasture. Your family adores you and you adore them. You still love walking over to Mema and Papa's and enjoy being surrounded by your grandparents and aunts and uncles. You are a wonderful big brother and your love for Will is so special to see.

I look at you, at how tall and big you are, and can't believe you are four. If only I could slow down time, make you grow slower, make the days last longer. These four years have passed in an instant and it scares me as I realize that all the years will sadly pass all too quickly. If only I could protect you forever, sweep you up in my arms every time you are hurt or sad, kiss away your tears, comfort you and keep you safe and happy like I am able to do today. I would give anything to always hold you as close as I do today.

Sam, I am so proud of you. You are more than I ever could have dreamed you'd be. I can only imagine what God has in store for your life. Watching you become all God intended will be one of my greatest joys. Four years ago today, you made me a mother. Because of you I discovered my purpose in life, to love and nurture three little boys. The moment I laid eyes on you, my life changed forever. And now I know a peace and happiness that comes from simply being a Mom to you and your brothers. Thank you for being you, my beautiful little boy. You amaze me every single day. I love you so much...to the moon and back.

Mama

Daddy's Buddy

Jody asked me the other day, "If you could keep Jack this age forever, or let him grow up, what would you chose?" That's a tough one. Of course, I want to watch him grow and become all God intends for him to be. But part of me longs to keep all three of my boys little forever. Little enough to still want to cuddle and need me as much as they do today. I think Jody would keep Jack just as he is today forever. They have a very special bond. They are buddies and Jack happily follows his Daddy wherever he leads him. He is his cow helper, tractor rider, night time cuddle bug. He even asks for his Daddy now when he gets hurt which has hurt my feelings a little. The other day he disappeared into our closet and came our wearing one of Jody's shirts like a dress and his black shoes. He was so proud of himself and said, "Look at me Mama. I look like Daddy!" Jack simply adores his Daddy. And the feeling is mutual.

Lambs and Rats

Sam and Jack smother Will with lots of love and attention. I have to be careful when I walk out of the room and leave him in his swing or seat because I will often walk back in to find him covered in two or three blankets, burp cloths, a sleeping bag and the occasional clothing item that has been left on the floor. Apparently his big brothers worry that he is constantly really, really cold. Today I walked in to find them digging through the stuffed animals to find the perfect thing to snuggle with Will in his swing. I stood back and watched. Sam carefully chose the softest items, two little sweet lambs, and went and placed them ever so carefully on each side of Will. He even tucked the lambs under the blanket so they could all be warm. Jack, not to be outdone, had to chose the perfect animal too. What sweet creature did he chose? A kitten, puppy, pony, pig? Forget about it. He chose a rat. A loud, ugly, vibrating rat. And forget about placing it nicely by the sweet lambs resting under the blanket. Nope, he plopped that scratchy rat right on Will's face. And he was very proud of his work. Will seems to be getting used to his big brother's personalities and he didn't flinch. I removed the rat from his face and laid it in his lap so as not to hurt Jack's feelings. Will better keep being so mellow or he doesn't stand a chance around here.

Jump

We surprised Sam with his big birthday present a little early.  After having it assembled, we realized hiding a 15 foot trampoline wasn't that easy.  Jody sat it in the cow pasture and swore we could just tell Sam that it was a cage for the cows.  I informed my husband that Sam knew what a trampoline was and that he had jumped on one before.  So we sat it up in the backyard and led Sam, eyes covered, to see his surprise.  His reaction was a little less than spectacular.  He stood there, genuinely disappointed.  Why?  Because he was sure we were buying him a buffalo for his birthday.  A real buffalo.  He climbed inside, started jumping and the disappointment disappeared.  Soon they were bouncing themselves silly.  JP even joined in, which the boys loved.  Cade, Cannon and Landry came by to jump too and we were soon breaking all the rules about the maximum number of occupants.  There's nothing like breaking in your new trampoline with your granddad and best cousins.  You surely couldn't have that much fun with a buffalo.  At least that's what we're telling Sam.

First Bath

My littlest man enjoyed his first bath recently.  I always look forward to being able to bathe them properly instead of the bird bath you have to give the first few days.  Will didn't make a peep, he laid their quietly just relaxing and enjoying the water.  He loves his bath time and is so mellow and sweet.  And boy does he smell yummy after we're done.  There really is nothing like snuggling with a newborn right after their bath.  Will continues to make us all so happy and he is so loved.  He is growing so fast and changing every day.  At his two week checkup, he was up to 9 pounds 12 ounces and had grown 3/4 of an inch.  He is precious and beautiful and ridiculously cuddly.   We just can't get enough of him.

Don't be fooled by the serious face...this boy loves his bath!

Loving those rolls!

Labor and Delivery

My labor with Will was everything I'd hoped it would be.  After a bad experience delivering Jack, I desperately wanted my favorite doctor for this delivery.  He had delivered Sam and my experience was wonderful. I was so relieved to be induced, knowing I would be taken care of by a doctor I had a relationship with.  I was started on pitosin around 8:30 and soon felt pretty consistent, mild contractions.  I was immediately given an epidural that worked wonderfully. I did have a few instances where I felt the epidural wearing off, but it was immediately fixed and I was soon feeling no pain again.  I even took a short nap, something I'd seen women do on television and never understood how that was possible.  It probably helped that I hadn't slept at all the two nights before.  While I napped, I progressed from 3 to 8 centimeters and was at 10 centimeters within just a few minutes.  Twenty minutes of pushing (the exact same amount of time I pushed with Sam) and Will was here, and he was perfect.

During the delivery, as I was pushing so hard I felt my eyes cross, I looked up to see Jody leaning over the side of the bed, close to my head, his face contorted, with his hands grasping the bed rails so tightly that his knuckles has turned white.  Mid-push I asked, "What is wrong with you?  Are you okay?  Are you going to pass out?"  "Whoa, wait a minute." he said.  "I'm okay but I need to stop for a second.  I've been pushing as hard as you have and I almost had an accident."  Cue my laughter and disbelief...he can deliver livestock but couldn't handle childbirth.  On a side note, he did the same thing while I was delivering Sam.  I can remember all the focus being pulled from me as he nearly passed out and the doctor and nurse begin yelling, "Sit down!  Put your head between your legs!  Sit down!"

Speaking of cattle...yes, my husband and doctor rekindled the cattle conversation and discussed in great detail all things bovine while I pushed my third son out.  Like...Do the cows birth their calves standing up or lying down?  Do you close them up in a barn or a stall when they are laboring?  What if they are breech?  Who helps the cow with the afterbirth?  Do they nurse immediately?  I refrained from an outburst of, "Hey, guys, see me here?  The chick with her legs spread open from here to kingdom come?  The one pushing so hard her eyes crossed earlier? Um, I'm trying to push out a baby here.  Could we keep the cattle talk to a minimum until I'm done?  I appreciate it."

Never one to hold back, Jody blurted out immediately after Will was born (I'm talking before the cord was even cut), "Okay, which way to the vasectomy hall?"
After visiting hours, my room was very quiet, with just me and Will hanging out together.  I soon began to notice the screams of a baby next door.  They were terrible cries, and would go on for ten or fifteen minutes at a time.  The baby would then get quiet for a few moments and the screams would begin again.  This went on for hours.  I became increasingly worried over this little baby.  What in the world was wrong with him or her?  I had never heard a newborn cry like that, especially with his or her Mama nearby.   Soon I had convinced myself that one of two things had happened...either the mother had died and the nurses hadn't found her yet or the mother had lost her mind and was lying in there in a catatonic state, unaware of her babies screaming.  After three hours of listening to this screaming baby, I called my nurse.  I had to stand up for this poor, pitiful being.  When she arrived I politely told her, "Um, I know this is none of my business, but there's something wrong next door.  The baby has been screaming crying for hours and it only stops for a few short minutes and it starts again.  I think there's something wrong with the mother or something."  My young nurse grinned at me, and appeared to be holding back laughter, "Oh, no. There's nothing wrong over there.  We use that room as a nursery at night and we have been bringing all the babies in to bathe them and give them shots.  That's what all the screaming is about."   Nice.

The bed in the room was for people with circulation issues so every two minutes the bed compressed starting at the head and working its way to the feet.  It was the most annoying and obnoxious sound.  I called my nurse who attempted to turn the bed off with no luck.  Finally, at midnight, I called my nurse back and told her I was sorry but I was unplugging the bed before I lost my mind.  "I mean it," I said.  "I can't take this.  This is ridiculous.  How does anyone sleep in these things?  It's every two minutes.  Two minutes!  How can I fall asleep before it starts again?  I'm unplugging the bed.  I have to." The nurse must have thought I was losing it because in minutes a new bed was being wheeled into my room to replace the other. 

The day we were scheduled to go home, someone knocked forcefully on my door.  "Come in," I called.  A man walked in and announced himself loudly, "CAR SEAT MAN."  "Um, excuse me," I said.  "CAR SEAT MAN!" he said again, only louder this time.  I looked over to my mom, whose eyes were now as large as mine, and gave her a look of "what the heck?" "Um, mam, I'm here to inspect your car seat.  I must make sure it is safe before you are allowed to leave with your baby."  "Um, yes sir.  But, my husband is bringing the car seat when he gets here later."  "Well, mam, you have to call your nurse when your husband arrives and have her page me so I can allow you to leave."  I then took notice of him and tried my best not to kill over laughing.  It was like a Saturday Night Live skit or hidden camera show.  This man, CAR SEAT MAN, was dressed in a uniform with an embroidered shirt with some writing about car seat safety inspector on it and had cargo pants on and army style boots on.  He had a blue tooth in his ear and a belt with attachments hanging off of it. He looked like a special forces soldier.  Straight up delta force.  But he was a car seat inspector.  CAR SEAT MAN. When he left, Mama and I had a good laugh.   And I thanked God that Jody hadn't been there to see CAR SEAT MAN. Thankfully, he was off when it was time for us to leave so we had our inspection with a nurse.  No delta force required.

It's Tough

It's tough being this cute.  Do you know how hard it is to have an adorable double chin like this after just thirteen days?  It's a lot of work...just ask my Mom.

I mean, really, how cute do I look in my blue jeans.  I am a rock star.

Being this cute is tiring.  It makes my head hurt.  And it makes me hungry.  Thus, the double chin.  Oh, this newborn thing is tough.

Loving It

Both of my boys are relishing their new roles as big brother to Will. They kiss and hug him constantly and beg to hold him every minute.  I have been very happy with Jack's laid back approach and that he hasn't shown any signs of jealousy yet.   I fully expected Sam to be my helper and to enjoy having a baby in the house.  But my oldest is beyond happy over the arrival of his new brother.  He is over the moon.  And borderline obsessed with his littlest brother.  He can't walk by him with out hugging him and kissing his forehead.  He wants to hold him every second and asks for "just one more hug" countless times each day.  He always says, "He's just so cute" and "I just love him so much." He panics when he thinks someone else is going to keep Will at their house and has even come close to tears on a few of these occasions.   He simply adores his youngest brother.  He loves him more than I ever thought possible. And it's a beautiful thing to see...

Sweet Surprise

I was surprised to find two sweet little notes written on the back of the playhouse this week. Cade left me two wonderful messages with sidewalk chalk...

"I love the Standleys"

"I love Lala"

What a special thing to find, from a little boy who I can't believe is now reading and writing and who I don't get to hug on nearly enough. I love you too, Cade.

Little Piece of Heaven

Cannon

"Sam, today's Cannon's birthday."

"Is my birthday next?"

"Yes, in 18 days it will be your birthday."

"Sam, is Cannon your best bud?"

"Yes, he's my best friend in the whole world and I really love him."

"Why do you love him so much?"

"Because we play power rangers and super heroes and Africa. And he teaches me about super hero squad and sometimes we argue because I say 'that's not a power ranger' and he says 'yes, it is' and we may fight about it a little bit but that's okay. He's my best friend."

Happy Birthday, Cannon, from your very best buddy.

Wild Animals

Sam and Jack love animals. That's no secret. They spend hours with their little toy animals. But they also like to be the animals. Sam constantly runs through the house pretending to be a cheetah or demonstrating his best buffalo leg kicks. Jack pretends to be mean animals and has a very ferocious growl. Take them outside, find a good tree and the wild animals surface. Scary, scary, boys. And, oh so, adorable.