Four

Sam,

Today you turn four. My baby turns four. I really can't believe it and I have joked with you for months that I will cry, cry, cry when you turn another year older and you love to talk about how sad I'll be on your birthday. You find it quite amusing that I don't want you to grow older and you always reassure me that you will always be my baby, no matter how old you are.

You, at four years old...you are an amazing, sweet, kind, persistent, loving, passionate, caring, inquisitive little boy. You love animals and spend hours creating animals scenes like Africa, Alaska and Yellowstone Forest. You have a pretty impressive knowledge about dozens of different animals and you love watching animal documentaries and learning more. One thing you love to do as you watch animal shows is to recreate the scene with your own animals. It takes you and Daddy quite a while to make it through a show because you insist on pausing it over and over again until you get your animals just like the ones on television. You ask hundreds of questions every day and you are rarely ever silent. You ask your Daddy every night what you should dream about which leads to him having to create an elaborate animal dream for you. You say your prayers every night and always thank God for giving you "everything you need." You have the sweetest spirit and a real love for learning about God.

Your best friends are still Cade and Cannon and you and Jack continue to grow closer each day. You love each of those boys and I am so grateful that you can grow up with them. You love being at home and would be content to stay here all the time. You continue to enjoy growing up on the farm but insist you would be so much happier if we had buffaloes in our pasture. Your family adores you and you adore them. You still love walking over to Mema and Papa's and enjoy being surrounded by your grandparents and aunts and uncles. You are a wonderful big brother and your love for Will is so special to see.

I look at you, at how tall and big you are, and can't believe you are four. If only I could slow down time, make you grow slower, make the days last longer. These four years have passed in an instant and it scares me as I realize that all the years will sadly pass all too quickly. If only I could protect you forever, sweep you up in my arms every time you are hurt or sad, kiss away your tears, comfort you and keep you safe and happy like I am able to do today. I would give anything to always hold you as close as I do today.

Sam, I am so proud of you. You are more than I ever could have dreamed you'd be. I can only imagine what God has in store for your life. Watching you become all God intended will be one of my greatest joys. Four years ago today, you made me a mother. Because of you I discovered my purpose in life, to love and nurture three little boys. The moment I laid eyes on you, my life changed forever. And now I know a peace and happiness that comes from simply being a Mom to you and your brothers. Thank you for being you, my beautiful little boy. You amaze me every single day. I love you so much...to the moon and back.

Mama