The Boys of Austin Farm: So Hard

9.08.2011

So Hard

I wasn't prepared for this. The letting go. It sounds so cliche. Except it isn't. It sounds so silly. Because, really, it's just kindergarten. But it isn't silly. It is overwhelming. All I keep hearing in my cluttered mind is, "Wait! Stop! You can't do that. You can't leave yet. Wait. Something's missing. Stop, now! A piece is missing." I was so unprepared for this. This is so hard. And I'm just not doing well at all. And that's not cliche. That is real.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...: You are not alone, although I know that doesn't help the way your heart hurts. Most Moms feel your pain. The cafeteria at West Clayton has been set up with a program called "Tissues and Tears" We have tissues available, coffee and doughnuts. I see Moms crying every morning. It will get better. Sam was so excited about his homework last night. He does like Kindergarten, he just misses you. He will get into a routine soon and it will be Ok. Lots of Love,
G-MA; September 9, 2011 at 8:45 AM
Mary Evans said...: Oh Angela I wish I could tell you it gets better,, but it does not.... It is so hard to let them go, that is part of why I am homeschooling because we only have them for a little while! Hang in there and get lots of kisses and hugs!; September 9, 2011 at 10:53 PM
Michelle Oliver said...: Wait til you stop walking him in and he gets out of your car and goes in the building by himself. It rips your heart out. You realize just how big they are. It took Cole 2 weeks to adjust. He was exhausted. It took me about a month. You need to volunteer when Jack is at preschool. You will feel soooo much better, seeing what they do every day. You can probably imagine it is fun but you really need to see what his day is like. You will still miss him but it will help knowing what he is up to.

Michelle; September 10, 2011 at 11:23 AM
Lisa Hardee said...: Why do you think I went back to work full time. I can't stand it either and mine is right down the hall. Wait til your baby starts. Now, that really doesn't seem right. I see Sam everyday! He seems happy and I always wave to him. He is probably wondering who in the world that teacher is that is always smiling at him. They have lots of fun in there, but I know the feeling!; September 17, 2011 at 10:01 PM

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I am the mother to three beautiful boys. I am a stay at home mom who spends my days adjusting costumes, refilling milk cups and folding laundry. And while this job is toughest one I've ever had, it is certainly the most fulfilling and rewarding. I am paid with wet kisses, long hugs and sweet smiles, which makes me the richest woman in the world. I am so thankful to spend my days with these three precious beings that I adore. I have been married to my best bud for six years. In addition to his job as a purchasing manager, he takes care of our ever expanding cattle herd. We own a cattle company that continues to grow and we are so thankful for all of God's blessings in our life. I am a Christian who longs to know more about God and his word. I know that teaching my sons about God is the greatest gift I can give them and my most important job as their mother. I enjoy a really clean house. organization, making lists, my iPad, photography, mexican food and when my People magazine arrives in the mail. We love our life on the farm, surrounded by family, with cows grazing beside our house, and wide open spaces for our boys to roam and explore. We are so blessed.

Sam is our six year old, firstborn son. He is a kind, sweet, inquisitive and compassionate boy who loves being the oldest and a big brother to his younger siblings. He is thoughtful and loving and passionate about learning new things and discovering new adventures. He is responsible and trust worthy and he genuinely hates to disappoint us or anyone else.

Sam loves cowboys and can often be found dressed in chaps, boots and a cowboy hat. He loves watching old westerns and hearing true stories about the "old west." Sam can also often be found dressed as a hunter or policeman and is rarely ever dressed in play clothes as "just Sam" as he likes to call it. He is meticulous about his attire and spends a lot of time making sure his costume is exactly right.

Sam loves guns and is an expert on his collection of toy rifles and pistols. He can shoot a bow and arrow perfectly and longs to ride a real horse and help his Daddy rope cattle like the real cowboys do. Always full of questions and known to be a deep thinker, he enjoys staying up late for long talks with his Mama and Daddy. He is our sunshine, our first love.

Jack is our second son who very proudly marches to the beat of his own drum. At three years old, he is spunky, free-spirited and funny and has an amazing ability to make others laugh. Jack is easy going and finds happiness in the simplest of things. He is mischievous and proclaims to be "sneaky," all while being amazingly sweet and wearing his heart snuggly on his sleeve.

He is smart and inquisitive and enjoys discovering how things work. He enjoys hooking up trailers to the appropriate tractor and loves to dress up as a cowboy or frontiersman with his big brother. Jack loves riding the gator with his Daddy to check fences and feed animals and truly relishes life on the farm. He will proudly tell you anything you need to know about cows and says Herefords are his favorite...just like his Daddy.

Jack can often be found running naked through the house and insists on falling asleep with a handful of his Mama's hair grasped tightly in his hand. He is always in motion, always smiling and is more affectionate than his older brother. He is cuddly and loving and is always ready for a snuggle and a kiss. He is our silly monkey, our joy baby.

Will is our two year old son. He is happy and friendly with a warm smile and an infectious laugh. Will loves cows, tractors, music, bath time, and snuggling on his Mama's shoulder, which I love just as much. He already has a great love for his Daddy and is happiest when he is outside with him, riding around on the gator and checking on our cows. Will seems to love farm life even more than his older brothers did at his age.

He is extremely ticklish and laughs and squeals when Mama and Daddy get his sugar. Will is happy and content and such a blessing to all of us. He flashes his sweet smile at everyone he sees, but hates large crowds. He makes the most precious sad face and is a pro at sticking his bottom lip out to let us know he's not happy. He is very busy and a budding daredevil that appears to have a mischievous streak that may rival his youngest older brother.

Adored by his big brothers, he will certainly be the most protected little boy around. His face beams with happiness at the site of his older brothers and he loves wrapping his arms around them, offering them endless kisses and hugs. In return, he is showered with sweet love and affection and he seems to enjoy his role of the littlest brother. He is loud and bosterious and works hard to be heard in our loud, crazy house. He is so loved and such a blessing to all of us. Will is everything we needed and didn't know we did.