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If you let a pig out of his pen and allow him to "explore" your backyard, you'll be amazed at his "rooting skills."

Time it takes for Spot destroy a flower bed: 43 seconds.

If you are blessed with "country" boys, they will surely ask you if they can make a mud hole for their pig to enjoy while she's frolicking in the back yard.

If the temperature is above sixty degrees, they will insist on "working" without their shirt on.

If your pig is only accustomed to rooting around the dry ground in the pen she shares with a dog, your pig may find the mud unamusing.

If that happens, your children may feel the need to "demonstrate" how to properly play in the wet mess they created.  You know, if the pig doesn't understand and all.

If she still seems uninterested, your boys may "need to make it a little muddier" so the pig will "like it a little better."

If this fails, a little more "demonstrating" may be required. 

If you have a puppy nearby, they may throw her in the mud too, in hopes that she will "show the pig what to do."

If your puppy has a listening problem and a clear case of canine ADHD, asking her for help may not work out as planned.

Amount of time Sayler showed interest in the muddy play land: 3.7 seconds.

If your first born has a stubborn streak (like his Daddy's, I might add), he  may refuse to call it quits, even when every one else has lost interest.

If he is determined to make good use of the mud hole he's created, your washing machine will pay the price.

If your middle child is the recipient of a flying mud pie to the face (courtesy of his older brother), the meltdown of the century may occur.

If your over zealous first born flashes you a smile, you may forgive him.  

That is, until you are forced to scrub the mud out of his ears and nostrils while he tells you all the ways you are "washing him the wrong way."

If I could find a lock for our water spigots, my life would be so much easier.

Of this I am sure.