He Strikes Again

Jody,

I have grown accustomed to your tireless games.  Your never ending attempt to scare the %$#@ out of me.  I accept that it is part of being married to you.  So I try to take your "scaring" humor with a grain of salt.  But sometimes you really do cross the line.  Like tonight, when I pulled the chili out of the refrigerator for a late night snack.  And through the fog of condensation, I saw this...

The plastic was fogged up just enough to disguise what was inside.  Except for the beady little head.  I saw the disturbing little head and I was indeed scared.  It looked very real.  Very, very real.  But I put my big girl panties on and removed the lid, certain whatever it was, it would now be dead, frozen to death in my homemade chili.  But then as soon as I pulled off the lid, my brain recalled a little elementary school science...reptiles are cold blooded creatures, meaning they take on the temperature of their surroundings.  Holy &%$#!  And it was too late,  the lid was off!  I was griped with fear, certain that the lizard/snake/iguana would see daylight and leap out of the container, right on my face or head.  

I peeked down, ready to meet my maker.  And I saw this.

Pretty low, dear husband of mine.  Now my food isn't safe either.  What's next?  Are you going to dangle some creature from one of my poor children's body?  Your games are crossing the line.  So I'm giving you fair warning.  The scaring has crossed over to the dark side.  The side where the scared can inflict physical harm on the scarer.  So be prepared.  Make sure you aren't within a 100 feet from me when you play your next dirty trick.  Because I'm going to come out swinging.  Like a mad woman.  And I really think your coworkers will have a hard time taking you seriously if you're missing your two front teeth.  So consider yourself warned.  I'm one good scare away from going all Mike Tyson on you.  The super crazy Mike Tyson.  Ear biting and all.