We Need to Talk

Dear Jack,

My sweet, precious son...we need to talk. You know I adore you, every inch of you in fact, but today you nearly drove me insane. What did you do to drive me mad, little one? You decided to take removing your diaper to a new level today. Today you moved past the occasional, daily diaper removal, into a relentless game of "let's see how many times I can do this before she really goes crazy!" Yes, today I saw you remove your diaper at least twenty times. Twenty. And while I think your chubby little bottom is beyond adorable, I grew quite tired of seeing it today. Because you don't just remove your diaper and go on about your merry way. You, Jack, insist on forcing out some kind of bodily waste to leave behind. You took three dumps on the rug in your room today. Three. And I lost count of the number of pee puddles I cleaned up today. Today consisted of little more than this...

your naked heini, running through the house sometimes with your diaper and pants dragging behind you. Tonight during bath time, I pulled you from the tub first. I wrapped you in your favorite hippo towel and turned to get Sam out. I turned back to see you with no towel, peeing all over the rug. "Golly, son," I said. "What are you, a dog or something?" Without hesitation, you began barking and then proceeded to finish soaking the rug. Your daddy even tried to intervene when you removed your pjs and peed down the hall. He tied a dish rag around your waist in an attempt to teach you a lesson. This trick didn't phase you and you actually seemed to enjoy your new "cloth diaper."

As usual, you find humor in everything and when I am frustrated the most, you still make me giggle.

But, Jack, I am asking (really I'm begging) you to please refrain from the diaper shananagins tomorrow. Your poor, tired Mama needs a break from cleaning up after you. You see, sweet boy, if I wanted to clean up pee and stinky of the floor, I would get a chihuahua or a poodle. So try a little harder tomorrow, son, to keep your pants pulled up and the carpet dry for yours truly. I love you.

Mommy