Redneck Transportation

If in order to help your wife by taking the baby off her hands, you devise a way that lets you: a. keep up with the kid without touching him and b. still manage to check your cattle and fences, you might be a redneck.  Especially if the end result involves a baby being strapped in a car seat to the back of utility vehicle.

And if you strap the car seat to the utility vehicle using bungee straps, you are, indeed, a redneck.

And using another bungee cord to "tie down" the dumping mechanism might make you responsible, but you are still a redneck.  A safe, conscientious redneck, but still a redneck.

If you strap your baby in beside a large bag of trash, that may or may not have been torn apart by the cat and may or may not contain food scraps and dirty diapers, you are definitely a redneck.

Burning your headlights for visibility and checking over your shoulder to see if your baby is still in the back, makes your wife feel a little better, but not nearly as good as she would feel to see the baby she birthed sitting in your lap instead of in the bed of the gator.

And the saddest thing...if that sweet baby kicks his legs excitedly and squeals so loud you can hear him over the running engine, he, too, may be a redneck.