Moments Like These

Last night, the five of us rode around the pasture, enjoying all the baby calves that are currently grazing by our house. I snapped this picture of my oldest cowboy and immediately was taken back by how big he looks. How grown he is. A little man. My little man. And my heart ached as I thought about how fast he is growing.

We stayed up late watching television in the den before all finding our beds...Will and me snuggled in my room, Sam on the top bunk, Jody and Jack curled up side by side on the bottom bunk. I went to the kitchen for a drink and noticed the boys' room was dark and quiet. Thirty minutes later I noticed a light coming from the hall. I stepped out of my room to find Sam in his bathroom. His eyes were full of tears. I ran over to him and asked him what was wrong. And he told me...

"Mama, sometimes at night, I miss you so bad. And I get so sad."

"Oh, Sam. Anytime you miss me, or need to see me, I want you to come find me and tell me. No matter how late it is. Even if I'm asleep, I want you to come crawl in bed with me and talk to me. Okay, sweetie."

"Okay, Mama. But can you go tell my Daddy that I want to sleep with you tonight and if he says no, it's okay. I can go back to my room if he says no."

"Sam, I'll tell Daddy. You go climb into my bed."

It was 12:15. And I crawled in beside him, hugging him and talking to him. He fought back tears and told me again how sometimes he misses me when he's trying to go to sleep. And again I begged him to come to me, anytime he needed me. Anytime. And he promised me he would. And we laid there talking until nearly 2:00, about cowboys and animals and Davy Crockett. He finally drifted off to sleep beside me. I kissed his forehead and told him just how much I love him and how happy he makes me. At 7:00 he hopped out of bed to go work the cows with his Daddy. Five hours of sleep and I was tired. Tired but grateful. Grateful for last night. Thankful for my little boy and more than happy to lose sleep to have him securely and happily cuddled beside me. Because I know that one day, all to soon, I will dream of those nights when he was still little and still wanted to be cuddled up beside me. So I'll embrace the nights with little sleep and late night conversations about cowboys. And I'll cherish every moment I spend with him in the quietness of the night when everyone else is asleep. These are the moments.