Bad Idea

Tonight I thought it would be a great idea to take the four boys to see Ice Age.  Turns out, it wasn't a great idea.  Here's the condensed run down...

Jack and I picked up Cade, Cannon and Sam from Ally's house.  Rebecca came as my back up in case one of us had to leave with a child.  We loaded up the boys.  Landry was jealous.  I told her she could go too. Buckled between Sam and Jack, she grinned the entire ride to the theater.  Unloaded all five kids.  Bec took four inside while Jack and I bought tickets.  $36.00.  Boys made their candy choice.  Gave the usher our tickets, grabbed five booster seats and headed to the theater.  Got everyone placed and I headed back to get snacks.  Three nerds on a rope, one box of skittles, five red icees, one popcorn, one coke.  I gathered napkins and straws and turned to see five monstrous icees.  Like a 72 ounce slurpee at the 7-11. "Those are smalls?"  "Yes, mam."  Holy cow.  We could have all shared one and had some left over. "$47.00, mam."  Silence.  What did he say?  Surely he did not say $47.  I look at the register and indeed, he did.  Wow.  I pay and load two trays with my over priced snacks.  Takes two trips to get the snacks to our seats.  Pass out the snacks and tell Bec we could have taken them for steak and it would have been cheaper.  Movie starts.  Snacking starts.  Jack began the "dat, dat?"  (what's that?) game this week and thought this would be a great opportunity to play.  He says "dat, dat?" one hundred times in three minutes and I reply, one hundred times, "an elephant, sweetie, now hush."  Seven minutes have passed.  Landry is done and starts squealing.  Bec takes her out.  Jack sees them leaving and yells, "Bec, Bec!"  He jumps out of my lap and chases after her.  Bec says, "Guess we're going to Target!"  I sit back down and pour Sam some skittles.  Cade laughs and is happy.  Sam asks me where the hyena is.  "I don't know, son" (is there a hyena in these movies?). Fifteen minutes passes.  Cannon starts rocking in his seat.  He gets up and down.  Over and over.  "Cannon, do you need to pee?"  "Yes."  I tell Sam and Cade to get up and we head to the women's bathroom.  Sam and Cannon pee.  Cannon doesn't come out of the stall.  I push the door open to see him straddling the back of the toilet, rubbing all over the back of the it, trying to flush.  It is an automatic flush.  We head out of the bathroom and they see the video games.  They beg to play.  My money is in Bec's purse at Target.  I say it's time to go back into the movie.  Sam and Cannon say they don't want to see that movie anymore and want to go home.  I pull Cade to the side and ask him if I can bring him back, just me and him, later.  He agrees.  The manager offers us five "rain checks" which eases the pain of leaving $47 worth of snacks behind.  We begin our walk to Target as my phone is in the car that Bec drove.  Down the sidewalk, through the parking lot, across a four lane road, into a field, through standing water and red clay and into the Target parking lot.  And we see Bec backing out of her parking space.  I yell.  We all yell and wave our arms.  She leaves.  We head into Target to use their phone.  She comes back for us.  Load the three big boys.  Get to Allyson's.  She's not home yet.  I don't have my key to her house.  Unload all five.  It's lightning a lot.  Make all five sit on the porch which they didn't like.  Sam needs to pee.  He runs down to the side walk.  Cade needs to pee.  He runs past Sam, who is still trying to get his pants down, and stops in the driveway.  I tell them to hurry because it is lightning bad now.  Cade gets scared, turns and runs back to the porch, while still peeing.  Runs past Sam, still peeing, and pees all over poor, unexpecting Sam.  Sam cries and tells him he doesn't love him anymore.  Get them back on the porch. Cannon screams.  While swinging on the porch swing, something goes wrong.  I turn to see the swing upside down, with Cannon hanging upside down as well.  His foot is stuck under the armrest.  He is screaming and I struggle for a good thirty seconds to get his foot loose.  I check him over.  He only wants his Mama.  Thankfully, she is turning in the driveway.  We all head inside.  Cade chases Sam around the house with metal tongs.  I tell my two we have to leave.  Step outside and see the world's largest frog.  Heart failure.  Scared boys.  Get them in the car.  Find a little peace from the crazy, ridiculously expensive night, by sitting at the edge of the pasture, both boys in my lap in the front seat of my car, as we watch an amazing lightning storm.  Baths and bed.  And I'm still ticked about the $47 and I am now so one of those moms who smuggles snacks into the theater in her purse.