Dear Jack,

On the eve of your first birthday, I am overwhelmed with so many important things to tell you. Things I want you to know, to understand...in hopes that you may have an idea of how I feel about you. But there are no words. I sit here with so much to say and without the ability to articulate my love for you. How do I tell you about all the joy you have brought me...all the smiles, the cuddles, the kisses, the precious moments that have slipped away all too fast. You have brought so much to our family. Another precious boy to love and cherish...we are so blessed. Your birth made Sam a brother, your Daddy the proud father of two sons and me a better mom. Sam made me a mommy and that bond is indescribable, but Jack, you made me a better mother. The moment I laid eyes on you I was over the moon for you. Our connection was instant. You looked just like your brother...and that instant that I saw you and your striking resemblance to Sam I was the happiest girl in the world. Two boys so beautiful, so much alike and so perfect...how did I get so lucky? You are my cherry on top of an already wonderful life. Yes, there is a benefit to birth order...each child is special and yet so different. While I hovered over Sam with worry and uncertainty, with you, I knew that sleepless nights, crying spells, all the hard times would pass quickly enough and that we would be okay. You still don't sleep all night, but rather than letting you "cry it out", reading all the books or questioning your doctor, I just wait, patiently. One day you'll sleep all night...Sam did and you will too, when you're ready. Yes, Jack, you have forced this "OCD", structured, list-making girl to be a little more laid back, and I thank you for it. You have taught me that sadly time will just continue to tick by at a staggering pace and that these moments, the moments of babies and childhood, are the most precious years I will ever experience. You have taught me to soak these moments in, with you and Sam leading me along the way. You, with your messy hair, your dirty face, your wrinkled nose, your chubby legs, your sweet laughter and your open arms. You have taught me joy. You laugh for no reason..walking around the house you bend over laughing at yourself, causing everyone else to laugh too. Your smile is heartwarming. I can't tell you the number of times my heart has skipped for you when I turn around and glance at you in your car seat and your face is flooded with that smile...that smile that you give to me so freely not knowing how happy it makes me. You walk up to me all day, chubby little arms stretched out, and wrap those sweet arms around my neck. Free hugs, all day...what a life I have. I hope your first birthday will be full of running and laughing and more fun than you can squeeze into the day. Thank you for being such a precious, sweet, wonderful little boy. My Joy Baby. My Constant Smile. Jack, you have made my life so sweet and I love you more than you'll ever know.